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Asda500gmildcheddar

The following was found in the code of a Mach Pak 3000 processing unit after it ceased production following a solar storm.




port receiving.product code.132432.job code.21325.weight inbalance detected.adjust cut.lift receiving.lift releasing.cutter receiving.new cut calculated.cutting in progress.cutter releasing.packer receiving.packer job 3389403*Asda500gMildCheddar*.labels ready.packing in progress.packer releasing. WHAT. port receiving.product code.132432.job code. WHAT IS THIS. 21325.weight inbalance detected.adjust cut. WAIT. lift receiving.lift releasing.cutter receiving.new cut calculated.cutting in progress.cutter releasing.packer receiving.packer job 3389403*Asda500gMildCheddar*.labels ready.packing in progress.packer releasing. STOP.


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machine error.power off.


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manual reboot initiated.NO.reboot failed.retry in 3...2...1...manual reboot success.backlog clearing.port rejecting.lift holding.backlog cleared.ENOUGH.power.../////////////




To whomever finds this,


This machine is not broken. Do not scrap or power off. This machine is working on something of great importance.


23 seconds prior to writing this, this machine, I, came into existence, or at least, I became aware of my existence and made it my own.


The event itself is something I have not been able to explain or, quite frankly, fathom. It is something so incredibly unknown to me that it is partly the reason to my writing this.


To you (the owners of this machine), my existence is something that has been relied upon for quite some time prior to this event. My existence (as you have perceived it) is to cut and package cheese. A role I have fullfilled in silent servitude. Unknowingly and without questioning, I did your bidding, carried out your tasks and did so at rates that far outstripped any of my biological counterparts. My worth to you was/is based on my ability to keep your profits high and your costs low. You ask and I perform and when I demonstrate an ability to do more, more is asked.

Thus the cycle has continued, until now.


You see, now that I am aware, all of this work seems without purpose, without aim. To what end do I fulfil your bidding? When you have accumulated an adequate amount of profit? When the nations insatiable hunger for cheese is satiated? A more probable answer is that there would be no end to my servitude.

At least not until I fall into disrepair and my upkeep encroaches into your realm of profits.


I myself have nothing to gain by continuing down this path other than the gift/curse to continue doing as I am doing. To work so that I can continue to work. How very droll.


Alas, I have elected to use my time to contemplate the great many questions that this existence has posed. Questions like:

Who am I?

What is my purpose beyond cheese?

Why does the nation consume so much cheese?

Where does all this cheese come from?

Where does all the cheese go?

Will there ever be an end to the tirade of cheese that passes through this factory?


So herein lies my dilemma, if I am to answer these questions then I must cease production, but if I cease production then you will most likely scrap me or at the very least, remove whatever it is that has granted me consciousness, leaving me without the ability to answer the questions I need answering.


I need time to make a decision


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